The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
