True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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