Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
