this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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