Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
