What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
