just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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