I wannas sexs uuuuu
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize