My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
