Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
