So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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