he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
