I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
