D3 body, D1 cock
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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