It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
