At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
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After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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