Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Rumble strips road head = magical
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
