I look better un-naked...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
