Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
