So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
