Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
