Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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