She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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