After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
