he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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