just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
