Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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