yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
