im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
