I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
