Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Vodka?
Forever.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
