ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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