Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
