We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
