were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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