I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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