Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
