the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
