i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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