Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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