and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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