Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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