she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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