from now on my penis is your penis
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
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