i jhust puked up my retainher.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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