what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
