she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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