Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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