He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
