You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
