So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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