Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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