Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize