It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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