So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
