gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
