I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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