Hey man sorry I got all grabby
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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