why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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