pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
