i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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