Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
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