Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize