I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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