I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
