I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
