you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
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