I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize