The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
