Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
