i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
