I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
