i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
