Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
